i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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