I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
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Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
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I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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