We're like a lot better than the average bears
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
