idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
