You really coming over, don't trick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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