I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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