I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
