i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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