He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
