her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
