i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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