He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
