My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
