I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
