Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
