just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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