I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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