Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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