kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
