508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
