We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize