A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Me too!
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize