Where is the hickey?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
