had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
