I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I will be naked everywhere
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I smell like Dick and happiness
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
