i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
