The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize
