you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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