I wish I could punch you in the face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
