no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just gift wrapped bread.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
