none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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