MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize