I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Pooping to opera.
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