Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
