i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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