My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Someone stole a lamp last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize