Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
