2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
