Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
