Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
