Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Pants are for mortals
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
