Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Houston, we have a squirter
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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