i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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