I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
