I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.