is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
