The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Still dying that you shit outside
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
