I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
