also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize