i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
