I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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