I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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