so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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