She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
