Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
