I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
