3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize