are you still at the devil's house?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
