I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
